Sheppard's Second Childhood
by PenPatronus
Summary: In this AU version of "The Shrine," the parasite infects John's brain instead of Rodney's. Will John survive the Pegasus galaxy's version of Alzheimer's? How far will Rodney and the team go to save him? Sheppard whump, friendship, hurt/comfort, McKeller DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
1. Rodney's Gamble

**Author's Notes:** This story is about Rodney as much as John—about their relationship (purely platonic). Like the flashbacks and video logs in the original episode, this story bounces back and forth between the present and the past—coherently, hopefully. Note the day at the beginning of each chapter and/or section to help you keep up! Spoilers specifically for "Tao of Rodney" (season 3) and "The Shrine" (season 5). This chapter was edited / updated on September 2, 2009. Reviews are encouraged and appreciated!

Stargate: Atlantis**  
Sheppard's Second Childhood**  
PenPatronus  
Chapter 1:  
**Rodney's Gamble**

**Day 15**

Zelenka had to jog to keep up with McKay's purposeful strides. "Rodney, where are we going?"

"Hurry!" McKay snapped. He turned left down a corridor, then took an immediate right.

Zelenka muttered to himself in Czech. He didn't have time for one of McKay's insane brainstorms. Rodney had plenty of underlings to chase him around Atlantis, so why was he bothering Zelenka?

"It's here—it's here, right?" Rodney said when Zelenka caught up.

"What's here?" Radek looked around, trying to get his bearings in the city. "What are you looking for?"

McKay opened a door. The dark room inside immediately sparked to life at his touch, and Radek saw what Rodney was talking about. On a platform in the middle of the room were three control panels of a seemingly harmless device. A device that either accelerated a human being's evolution (which began the physical process of Ascension), or literally reduced him to protoplasm.

The "Ascension Machine."

Rodney stepped onto the platform and looked over at Zelenka. "Fire it up," he said.

"Rodney, no, absolutely _not_!" Zelenka yelled. He grabbed McKay's arm and pulled him back onto the floor. "I will not operate this for you!"

"It'll work!" McKay shouted back. "We know how to reverse the evolution with my baseline blood sample—"

"That's assuming you're as lucky as you were last time! It's far more likely this machine will vaporize you than give you superpowers!"

"I know the risks, Radek!"

Zelenka threw his arms up in the air. "So, so what, you want to read minds again? Show off a little telekinesis for Dr. Keller?"

McKay suddenly deflated. The resolute, fervent expression on his face melted into sorrow. Zelenka had never seen that look before. "Radek, this is about Sheppard. He has days left. Maybe."

Zelenka was stunned. He hadn't realized that the Colonel's condition had gone downhill so quickly. "So you want to accelerate your evolution to—"

"To heal him," McKay said quietly. "Remember?"

Zelenka did remember. Two years ago he was impaled by a bolt of energy. He was as good as dead. There was almost nothing Dr. Beckett could do. But then Rodney placed his hands over Zelenka's chest and healed every cell in his body in a matter of seconds. And now John Sheppard was dying. Keller's team had tried everything imaginable to stop the parasite from rendering his brain cells dormant, but nothing helped.

"Please, Radek," McKay whispered, pleaded. "We've tried everything else. This is his only chance."

"There's no guarantee it won't kill you. There's no guarantee you'll have the same abilities you did before and there's _no_ guarantee we'll be able to reverse the effects."

McKay nodded. "I know." He stepped back up onto the platform. "Do it."

Zelenka raised a forefinger. "Only, _only_ if Dr. Keller is here." Before Rodney could protest, Radek activated his radio and called Jennifer.

**To Be Continued**


	2. M445YN

**Author's Note:** Chapter edited / updated on September 2, 2009.

Stargate: Atlantis**  
Sheppard's Second Childhood**  
PenPatronus  
Chapter 2:  
**M44-5YN**

**Day 1**

Because the event horizon looked more or less like a puddle of rippling water, Rodney McKay always held his breath when he walked through a Stargate. At one point John noticed the habit and cracked a joke about McKay plugging his nose when the team wasn't looking. They all had a big laugh about it, and sometimes Ronon still smirked at Rodney at the beginning of a mission. But Rodney had the "last laugh," so to speak, when the team left Atlantis and walked into a valley of freezing water on planet M44-5YN.

Within three steps Rodney went from the solid floor of Atlantis, through the wormhole, to the bottom of a lake.

Panicked, he started to kick, though his boots were waterlogged and heavy. He went in every direction at once and couldn't distinguish up from down. McKay calmed his mind. He held still, opened his eyes and found the Stargate. When his body started to float, he kicked hard and reached the surface. He twisted as he tread water, looking around for the others. Thankfully, they were already there.

Rodney released his breath, inhaled sharp, cold air and shouted through chattering teeth, "That will teach you to make f-f-fun of me for h-h-holding my breath!" A few yards away, Ronon started to reply, but his words dissolved into coughs. Somewhere in his numb mind, Rodney realized that the scene was lit, and that the light came from the top of the Gate. He started dog-paddling towards it.

"Come on, Teyla, swim! _Swim_!"

Rodney saw Sheppard holding onto the Gate's arch with one hand while stretching the other towards Teyla. With unpracticed strokes, Teyla made her way over. John grabbed her and helped her climb up. Teyla straddled the top chevron and trembled with cold.

John turned away from Teyla and reached for Rodney. "McKay! Come on!"

"Let that _smart-ass_ drown, Sheppard," Ronon muttered as he pulled himself up on the other side of the arch.

"I suppose you taught him that word?" Rodney shouted to John when he swam close enough. Rodney grabbed John's hand and Sheppard yanked him the rest of the way through the water. "Never been so cold…" Rodney muttered as he and John shimmied up the arch. "I think my ears are going to fall off…"

"I'm going to dive down and dial for help!" Sheppard yelled when the others were situated. He handed his gear to Rodney but kept his clothes and boots on.

"Wait, Shep—" Ronon started, but John dove off the arch and disappeared into the black water. Ronon shook his head at Teyla and McKay. "He shouldn't go down there without being roped to us."

"If he's d-d-down there too long, we'll go after him," Teyla assured him.

"What rope?" Rodney asked. He rubbed his hands together, blew hot air into them, and rubbed them again. "I suppose we could pull your hair out and b-b-braid each dreadlock together…"

A minute later, John reemerged. He pulled himself onto the arch with a grunt, and started talking into the radio. Beside him, McKay tried to wring the water out of his clothes. Ronon shook a whole river out of his hair and Teyla sat still with her arms wrapped around her knees.

"Did you get all that?" John asked minutes later when he was done reporting to Woolsey. "They'll get a Jumper here soon."

"Hopefully they'll find us and not four icicles," McKay muttered.

Ronon grunted deep in his throat. "We'll be fine, McKay. I've spent days in cold like this."

"Just because you've experienced this in the past doesn't make it any easier for me in the present!" Rodney snapped.

"I said that to put this into perspective!" Ronon ducked his head towards Teyla and said quietly, "And to get him to stop whining."

"I don't _whine_—"

"Hey, hey! Knock it off!" John bellowed. Rodney clamped his mouth shut and Ronon lowered his eyes. "We're going to be stuck like this for awhile, so don't make this any harder than it is!"

"Yeah."

"Sorry, Sheppard."

Minutes passed. The only light came from the active Gate and the only sound from their chattering teeth. Suddenly, Sheppard let out a loud sneeze. It echoed back to them from the faraway hills.

Teyla leaned to her left to look past Rodney. "John? Are you all right? You're still shivering."

Sheppard shrugged. "I was in the water a minute longer than the rest of you." John didn't meet her eyes.

Teyla frowned. "Rodney? Does he have a fever?"

"What do you want me to do? Kiss his forehead?"

"No _he_ does not have a fever," Sheppard snapped. "_He_ is perfectly fine."

"Calm down, buddy," said Ronon. "She didn't mean any harm."

Sheppard sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sorry."

Teyla and Ronon exchanged a concerned glance.

After a moment, Rodney said, "Sheppard?"

"Hmm?" John mumbled, still kneading his forehead.

"Are you, uh, falling asleep? Because you might want to lean to your left. You're slipping off the Gate."

John's palms slapped down against the metal. He braced himself, swayed for a moment, then released a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

"Uh huh," said Rodney, looking at his friend with concern. "John—"

Teyla suddenly cried, "Do you hear that?"

Ronon sat up straighter. "Sounds like something's…bubbling?"

Rodney looked down. For a moment he thought he saw a whale. Something long and wide and dark was floating out of the wormhole. His adrenaline skyrocketed, making him dizzy. But before he imagined a whale swallowing the entire Stargate whole, Rodney realized what it was.

"It's the Jumper," he announced. "They're here for us."

"Thank goodness," said Teyla.

Ronon snickered at Rodney. "I saw that look on your face, McKay. Like some giant fish was about to—"

_**SPLASH**_

Ronon, Rodney and Teyla looked behind them in time to see a pair of black boots sink into the water.

John had fallen off the Gate.

Before Rodney and Teyla could do more than yell, Ronon launched himself into the water. He disappeared into the darkness.

"Ronon!" Teyla called after him.

"What the hell is going on?" Rodney cried.

"John fell in!"

"Or he was pulled in?"

"Pulled in by what, Rodney?"

"I don't know! Did you a tentacle? A fin?"

"Rodney—"

They were interrupted by a slurping sound behind them as the Puddle Jumper floated to the surface of the water. Slowly, the rear ramp descended until it landed on the edge of the Gate, lined up so that Rodney and Teyla could simply stroll onto the deck. Major Lorne stood inside with his arms folded against his chest. They came uncrossed when he did a head count.

"Where's Colonel Sheppard?"

Rodney and Teyla pointed helplessly at the water. Lorne's jaw dropped. But before he could react, Ronon emerged. He held a pale, unmoving John Sheppard to his broad chest. John's body was spread-eagled and limp and his eyes were closed.

"McKay!" Ronon sputtered. "Help me with him!"

Rodney crouched down and grabbed Sheppard under the armpits. He pulled until John's cheek rested on his shoulder, then slowly walked backwards. When he reached the ramp, Lorne darted around and picked up Sheppard's legs.

"Lay him across the seats," Lorne instructed.

"No!" said McKay. "If we have to do CPR we need him on a hard surface. Put him on the floor—here, here!"

Lorne obeyed and they gently lowered Sheppard onto the deck. Rodney immediately knelt beside his friend. He pressed his ear to John's chest and felt for a pulse in his wrist. "There's a heartbeat!" he reported. Rodney shifted his weight on his knees and moved the same ear over to Sheppard's lips. Teyla hurried to his side and Ronon, dripping water over them all, stood above.

Rodney forced himself to listen to the silence for a full five seconds. "Oh my God," he whispered, "he's not breathing. _Ronon_!" Rodney pulled John onto his side and motioned for Ronon to move behind him. A trickle of water dripped out of Sheppard's lips and soaked Rodney's knee, but John didn't inhale.

Rodney pointed at Sheppard's back. "Hit him!"

Ronon didn't hesitate. He smacked John once, twice. Finally on the third try, Sheppard spit water. He convulsed, then his eyes opened wide and terrified, and Sheppard vomited liquid across Rodney's lap.

"Yes, _yes_!" Rodney crowed, not even noticing the mess. "Breathe, John, breathe-breathe-breathe!"

John's eyes found McKay's and stared at him as he coughed. When he tried to sit up, Teyla and Ronon helped him onto his knees and Rodney braced his shoulders. It was over five minutes—almost ten before the coughs subsided long enough for Sheppard to speak.

"Ouch," John gasped.

"What the hell happened?" Lorne asked.

John shook his head.

"You almost drowned, John," Teyla said quietly.

"I guess he fainted," McKay said.

"Passed out," Ronon corrected.

John pointed at Ronon and nodded in agreement.

Lorne frowned. "Was there something odd in the water? Did anyone else faint?"

"We are fine." Teyla rubbed John's back as he continued gasping for air. "We will get you checked out at Atlantis, John. Just rest now."

**To Be Continued**


	3. The 'Star Wars' Debate

**Author's Note:** Chapter edited / updated on September 2, 2009.

Stargate: Atlantis  
**Sheppard's Second Childhood**  
PenPatronus  
Chapter 3:  
**The 'Star Wars' Debate  
**

**Day 15**

In his quarters, Rodney pressed "record" and sat on his bed in front of the camcorder. He forced a smile that he knew looked forced.

"Hi Jeannie," he said. "Tell Kaleb and Maddy I said hi…" Rodney sighed. "Sorry I haven't sent you a message in a few weeks. I know I promised to contact you once a month but things have been hectic around here. Well, things are _always_ hectic around here but lately it's been…personal."

Rodney rested his hands on his knees and leaned into them. His shoulders slumped and his face slackened with exhaustion. "I haven't slept in a couple days so I'm afraid this will have to be a quick update. I need to take a nap and then get back to work. It's not that I don't want to go into detail but…well…"

Rodney rubbed his eyes. He suppressed a yawn and spoke a bit softer. "I wish you were here," he said. "I need you right now. Not for the reasons I usually need you. You know, not for science or research or…I just need my sister right now. So, uh, send me a cross-galaxy hug, all right?"

McKay chuckled and looked down at his feet. "I'm stalling. I'm stalling and saying ridiculous things." He looked back up at the camera. "John—you know, my team leader—my friend, John Sheppard…he's dying. There's, uh, some sort of parasitic organism in his brain that's causing his cells to go dormant. His organs are shutting down, his motor functions are limited and his memory is failing. It's like Alzheimer's but the symptoms have evolved in just a couple weeks. We noticed his personality changing just the day after he was infected.

"See, we were talking about who's who in _Star Wars_…"

**Day 2**

Sheppard had been planning the movie marathon for weeks and he wasn't about to let Dr. Keller postpone it. He'd fully recovered from the mission, and though Jennifer found nothing abnormal in his scans or blood work, she insisted that he stay in the infirmary for observation. He told her, through gritted teeth, that he was either going to leave the infirmary or have the TV brought to him. Jennifer agreed to the compromise. She even let Teyla, Ronon and Rodney bring couches and junk food along with the TV. They lined the furniture up on either side of Sheppard's bed and settled in to watch _Star Wars_.

When the final credits rolled, Ronon shoved the last handful of cold popcorn into his mouth and said as he ate, "So, Sheppard, you think I'm just a big hairy, noisy…what's it called?"

"A Wookie. Chewbacca is a Wookie. But I call you Chewie because sometimes you, you know, you have a temper. And you're tall. And you're my big cool protector who dives into freezing water to rescue me."

Ronon grinned. "Big cool protector. Right."

Teyla leaned forward on the couch and looked at John. "And you think you are similar to the pilot of that flat vessel."

"The Millennium Falcon. Yes." John pointed to himself, "I'm Han Solo, Ronon is Chewie and you're like Princess Leia."

On the other side of Ronon, McKay sat up straighter. "Who am I?"

"How am I like Princess Leia?"

"Well she's a strong, confident, independent woman, a leader of her people. And she's, you know, she's…"

"She's hot," said Ronon. "I like her hair."

"If you think she's hot in _Star Wars_, wait 'til _Return of the Jedi_—wow!" said Rodney. "But seriously, who am I? Am I Luke? But an older, wiser, battle-worn Luke? A post-Yoda Luke?"

"Why haven't you taught Teyla and me those Jedi techniques?" Ronon asked Sheppard.

"_Star Wars_ isn't a true story, Ronon."

"So there's no Force?"

"Well, not like in the movie."

"I think you are more like Luke than Han Solo, John," said Teyla. "You are laid-back like him, yes, but your heart is like Luke's: selfless and kind."

Ronon shook his head. "I like Solo—he plays dirty when he has to."

Rodney raised his hand like he was back in school. "If Sheppard is Luke then I'm Han, right?"

John's face scrunched in disgust. "You, McKay, are no Han Solo."

"No way," Ronon agreed.

"Rodney, you're like C3PO. Nerdy, whiny, you never stop talking. Annoying, cowardly—"

"John!" Teyla gasped.

Rodney, offended, said, "I am not a _droid_!"

Teyla frowned at Sheppard. "You know that is not true. Rodney is no warrior but we all have different gifts."

"Oh, shut up!" Sheppard snapped. "You too, McKay!" he said before Rodney could speak. Teyla sat back and folded her arms against her chest.

Ronon frowned. "Easy, Sheppard."

John handed Ronon another DVD. "Just put in _Empire Strikes Back_, Chewie."

Ronon tried to make eye contact with Teyla, but she didn't look back. McKay, however, did, and the two men mirrored each others surprise and confusion. Ronon nodded in Sheppard's direction, asking a silent question. Rodney shrugged as if saying, "How should I know what's eating him?"

"Are you sure Jennifer said you're all right?" Ronon asked when he sat back down on the couch.

Sheppard glared at him. "Yeah, why?"

Ronon put his hands up, surrendering. "You're in a nasty mood."

John frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sorry…I just lost my patience all of a sudden."

"Not as easy-going as Han Solo today, are ya," Rodney said.

"Well I did almost drown. That's likely to put anyone in a sour mood."

On the television screen, Luke Skywalker was attacked by a snow monster.

**Day 15**

At the end of the story, Rodney's expression softened. "Look, Jeannie, I told you about that because I want you to know why I'm going to do what I'm going to do." Rodney rolled his eyes at himself. "I'm not going to take a nap, I don't know why I said that. And I'm not going back to the infirmary to work on healing John…I'm going to try something else."

"This morning when John woke up…" Rodney's memory drifted for a moment as he recalled the scene. He felt his eyes glaze over and the camera lens blurred in his vision. "This morning John grabbed me and begged me not to let him die…He's not himself, I know that. He's not himself. If he were he wouldn't show that much fear and he certainly wouldn't—wouldn't beg." Rodney swallowed. His eyes stung. "But he asked me to save him, Jeannie. And I'm going to."

"I meant it when I said that these people have become my family. John is like a brother—more than one, somehow. And I've decided that I'm going to do everything possible to save him. And that includes…That includes what I'm going to try today. I think I told you about that time I got "zapped" by what we call the Ascension Machine. It gave me…abilities. And one of those abilities was healing. And, yeah, if you remember, it almost killed me. But this time—this time when I do it, Jeannie, I know what to expect. Dr. Keller will be able to help me and I'll be able to help John."

Rodney took a deep, steadying breath, and summoned a last smile. "But if I die, Jeannie, I'm sorry. I hope you understand. And I love you."

He waved goodbye and turned off the camera.

**To Be Continued**


	4. John's Wish

**Author's Note:** Chapter edited / updated on September 2, 2009.

Stargate: Atlantis  
**Sheppard's Second Childhood**  
PenPatronus  
Chapter 4:  
**John's Wish**

**Day 15**

Dr. Keller ran through the corridors of Atlantis with a laptop tablet tucked under her arm like a football. She could hear Zelenka and McKay arguing, even from fifty yards away. Jennifer's heart did a somersault. Rodney was alive. If he was yelling, then he wasn't a puddle of protoplasm. Yet.

"Dr. Weir ordered me to lock the controls, Rodney. She was concerned that someone would go against her orders and sneak in here."

"It won't take me long to hack it, Radek, so you might as well just give me the password—Jennifer!"

The two men pivoted away from the Ascension Machine and faced her. Relieved, Zelenka pointed at Rodney and said, "Dr. Keller, will you please talk some sense into this man?"

Jennifer digested the scene. Not only was McKay alive, he hadn't been able to turn on the machine yet. Jennifer thanked God and then, to Zelenka's surprise, shrugged indifferently. "It's his choice, Radek, it's his life. But Rodney, I brought something you might want to see before you do this." She held up the tablet.

Rodney eyed it warily. "What is it?"

"Before his condition worsened, Colonel Sheppard asked me to help him record private messages for everyone on his team. This one is for you. I thought you might want to say goodbye before that machine turns you into Jell-O."

Rodney stared at her, his mouth agape. Then he suddenly sat down on the edge of the platform and stared at the floor.

Zelenka cursed in Czech and threw his hands in the air. "Dr. Keller, I called you here hoping you'd sedate him! Are you actually going to let him do this?"

"It's ok, Radek," she soothed. "Why don't you wait in the hall for us?" Jennifer winked at him. It wasn't a playful, joke's-on-McKay wink. It was a trust-me-I'll-fix-this wink. Zelenka glared at her for another moment, glanced at the despondent McKay, and finally left the room. He shut the door behind him, leaving Jennifer and Rodney alone.

Jennifer sat on the platform beside him. "You continue to impress me, Rodney McKay," she said. "You're braver than you look."

Rodney didn't take the bait. "Whatever's on that tape is only going to make me want to do this more."

"We'll keep trying to find a cure, Rodney. There's time."

"He only has about 48 hours left!"

"And you have that and more. I refuse to lose two patients!"

He looked at her. "If my plan works, you won't lose any."

"Rodney…" She shook her head at him. "Ronon's idea is saner than this!"

"Even if Ronon's magical cave works, and John is himself for a few hours, he'll still die!" Rodney snapped at her. "If the Ascension Machine works, he'll live. And that's worth my…" He looked into her eyes, then immediately went back to staring at his shoelaces.

Jennifer swallowed. She placed her hand on his shoulder, almost touching his neck. "I don't want you to. Atlantis needs you." _I need you_, she thought, surprised at herself.

Rodney looked down at where her hand touched his shirt, then slowly met her eyes. A hint of a smile entered the corner of his lips. "If it were anybody else…well, almost anybody else, I wouldn't risk it. But John has become my best friend. I've lost friends before. I lost Elizabeth and Carson…more than once, it feels like." Rodney sighed, exhaling warm air that tickled Jennifer's throat. "I can't go through that with Sheppard. I can't handle that."

Jennifer looked at him, then placed the tablet in his lap. "Watch the video, Rodney." She stood up, keeping her hand on his shoulder. "I'll be over there, give you some privacy."

"Jennifer, wait." Rodney grabbed her hand. He looked surprised at himself, but didn't stop. "Will you—will you watch this with me? I mean, just stay nearby, here, while I watch this?" He took a deep breath, about to go into a Rodney-long explanation.

Jennifer stopped him by agreeing. She flipped the hand that was in his grasp and squeezed his fingers. She didn't let go, but sat down beside him. He took a deep breath, then keyed in the commands to start the video. John Sheppard's face appeared on the screen. He was sitting in a chair in the infirmary, unshaven and wearing an old black t-shirt over green scrubs. There was a bandage above his right eyebrow and tubes in his arm.

"Ready?" asked Jennifer's voice from behind the camera.

John looked at her like it was the stupidest question he'd ever heard. "Of course I'm not ready," he said. He spread his hands out, palms up. "But ready or not, right?"

"It's recording," Jennifer reported.

John nodded. He looked right at the camera. "Hey, McKay," he said lightly, "if you're watching this, that means that I can no longer carry on a coherent conversation. Sorry about that. I'm probably really annoying you."

"Yes, you are," McKay muttered to the Sheppard on the screen. One corner of Jennifer's lips curved into a smile.

"Look, if this bug in my brain kills me, I want you guys to get it out before I'm cremated. I want you to get it out and jump on it." Sheppard's legs bounced with each syllable as if he was stepping on the parasite himself. "I want you to squish it, squish it, _squish_ it good."

Rodney chuckled softly. Jennifer squeezed his hand again.

"And don't invite my brother to my funeral, Rodney, I mean it. Nancy, my ex-wife, yeah she can come. She can come if she promises to cry a lot and wear that red number she had on the day our divorce was finalized." John shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You think the Pegasus galaxy is tough? You think Wraith are hard to deal with? Wait 'til you get married!"

"Anyways…" John scratched at his hair and rotated his upper body, stretching his back muscles. "Remember when you, uh, were ascending because that machine zapped you and you asked me to read your eulogy? Well, that really pissed me off at the time, so now I'm going to do the same thing to you!"

Rodney shook his head and muttered something underneath his breath that Jennifer didn't catch.

"You, McKay, not only have to read my eulogy, I'm putting you in charge of all my crap. My money, my Johnny Cash poster, everything. Like I said, I don't want my brother involved. Trust me, he's an ass. You can be an ass too, of course, but you're ten times the brother he ever was. So, you know, have fun with that…And I mean that, Rodney, you are my brother in every way that matters."

Out of the corner of her eye, Jennifer saw Rodney's chin quiver. She slid her other hand under the one he held, and laced his fingers between hers. He looked down at their hands, started to say something, but then John began to speak again.

"Rodney, there's something I want you to know. And, uh, you know me better than anyone so you know that I'm not so good at saying…saying how much I appreciate people. People like you and Teyla and Ronon. People I love." John took a deep breath and said quickly, "You're a good friend, Rodney, and an amazing person. Your resourcefulness and stubbornness has saved more lives than—and don't tell Ronon I said this—than any amount of physical strength or bravery. I know it doesn't always show, but I respect that. I admire that. And I love you."

"You've stuck with me since the day we met and that is an incredible gift. But gifts have limits. I'm putting a limit on that gift right now."

Rodney looked at Jennifer. She looked back, right into the raw, vulnerable core of him. The grief in his face magnified hers, and Jennifer almost regretted what John was going to say next. She regretted it, but she didn't turn the video off.

John's eyes looked past the camera. "Jennifer? Can you zoom in on my face or something? Like, get really close so that McKay can see how serious I am, all right?" The screen zoomed in until the infirmary was completely concealed by John's face. Sheppard pointed his forefinger. "Now listen up, McKay. I'm saying this not only as your friend but as your commanding officer. So you have to obey me, all right? And if you won't obey me as your commanding officer or as your friend, then do it because this is a dying man's last wish." John spoke slowly and enunciated each word, "I, John Sheppard, being of sound mind and body—more or less—hereby order you, Meredith Rodney McKay, to not, under any circumstances, use that_ damn Ascension Machine_!"

Between Jennifer's fingers, Rodney's hand trembled. She gazed at his face while John talked about how he saw "that look" on McKay's face and knew what he was thinking. How he didn't want Rodney to take that risk. How important Rodney was not only to him, not only to the Atlantis expedition and the Stargate mission, but to the galaxies. Even though it was a video, Jennifer expected Rodney to argue with John. But he sat still and listened.

Finally John felt confident that his arguments would hold up in court, even with Rodney McKay as the judge. He said goodbye to Rodney one last time, cracked a parting joke, and the video ended. For a solid minute afterwards, Rodney sat and stared at the blank screen. Jennifer sat with him, but got the impression that he had forgotten she was there. _I bet he wants to be alone now_, she thought. So Jennifer got up to leave.

But when their hands parted, Rodney snapped out of his trance. He put the tablet down and stood up beside her. Tears were on his cheeks. The look on his face changed. Jennifer couldn't define it, only describe it as _frantic_.

A moment later she realized what he needed, and provided it: a hug.

At first she just had her arms around him, but then she shifted her weight to actually _hold_ him. His arms were sturdy but soft, his cheek smooth. She tried to analyze herself—why she was there, why she hadn't hesitated to touch him, why her body fit so perfectly against his…

But then Rodney's scent slid off his uniform and his hair and his breath, and Jennifer inhaled it, and she was unable to think about anything other than being held by him.

**To Be Continued**


End file.
